Hello beautiful Nuuaria Community! It’s Lori – certified Nuuaria Method Trainer and Mentor. I appreciate you showing up to spend time with me today. I’m excited about today’s topic because if you take it to heart, and really attempt to make this mindset shift, you will absolutely see a difference for you. It’s an issue that comes up for a lot of people so it's probably something that could help you too.
Although you are probably dying to find out what the #1 stumbling block to your weight loss effort is, you’ll have to wait a couple minutes so that we can first get connected and calm. I appreciate you guys always doing this with me. It’s a chance for me to also shift out of high gear and back into my space of peace and calm. We all need to do that more often.
Today let’s try something a little different. This technique is one of many that we teach here at Nuuaria. We have a ton of tools and techniques for helping you become more connected and mindful and this one is called using a kinestetic anchor.
For our purposes today, I’ll ask you to start by taking some nice deep diaphragmatic breaths. Next, close your eyes and imagine a time when you felt completely calm and relaxed. Maybe it was a time when you were at the beach or camping in the woods. Think about what your surroundings were like and try to tap into the feeling that you had in that space and at that time. Be there for a couple more breaths and just re-live that experience. When you are ready, open your eyes and try to hang on to the feeling. I don’t know about you, but I was at the beach. Write in the comment section – even if you are watching on the replay- and tell me where you were.
Alright. The suspense is over. The #1 stumbling block is having an all-or-nothing mindset when it comes to your weight loss plans.
The all-or-nothing mindset is simply a way of thinking in which you are either on a diet or you are not. When this is someone’s mindset, they believe that in order to lose weight, there must be restriction, there must be pain and struggle. This mindset causes them to try to do too much all at once.
Whatever they can think of, they do – restrict calories, cut out entire food groups and dive into a strenuous exercise plan – all on day one. Obviously, a plan like this requires lots of time, attention, structure and of course, willpower.
If you are like the hundreds of people who have come to Nuuaria to lose weight, you probably realize that restrictive plans are difficult to maintain and your brain and body soon rebel against them. You end up breaking all the promises you made to yourself regarding your food and exercise. This leaves you feeling deflated and frustrated.
Why does this happen? The all-or-nothing mindset and behavior triggers resistance in your brain in two ways.
First of all, the brain views restriction as a dangerous situation. It assumes that if your food is being restricted, a famine must be on the way so it sends powerful signals that encourage you to eat more whenever food is present so that you will have a cushion when the perceived famine actually hits.
Secondly, the brain is engineered for safety and survival. Our brains are incredibly resourceful and complicated but not so great at helping us change. If you are alive doing what you are doing, your brain is going to try to keep you doing it. It isn’t so concerned with whether you are living your best and most fulfilling life.
The brain actually sees change as something dangerous. After all, the human who assumed there was always a tiger in the bush was the one who was most likely to survive. For this reason, when we attempt to grow and make positive changes, our primitive brain rushes in to try to convince us that we should just play it safe instead.
It’s important to recognize this as you try to create something new in your life. As long as you are aware of how your brain works and you work with it instead of against it, you can reassure the brain that it is safe to pursue your goals. All of our programs have elements to calm the brain and they approach change in the gradual and slow way necessary to keep your brain’s resistance to a manageable level. If it doesn’t think there is a tiger in the bush, it won’t try to get you on a different path. You will be free to pursue your goals and make the changes necessary to do it.
So, what can you do to shift out of the all-or-nothing mindset? The way to achieve results with weight loss is to cultivate patience around the process and make small, meaningful shifts over time that build on each other. Working with your body rather than against it will always lead to better and more sustainable results in the long run.
Let me give you an example of how this usually works. Let’s take two people- the first person is ready to get the weight off yesterday and is only interested in how to do it as quickly as possible, we’ll call her Typical. Person Two also wants the weight off yesterday but is interested in finding something that works for her long term. She is tired of losing only to regain it again we will call her the Nuuaria person. Here is how this scenario usually plays out.
Person 1 Person 2
Week 1 Food plan (Day 1-6) Begins a super restrictive food plan on day one that has eliminated many foods, and greatly reduces her caloric intake. Begins a gentle stepping stone routine to move gradually into a 10 day detox. Sugar is eliminated from her diet but no other real changes are made. Quantity is not limited but mindfulness is encouraged.
Week 1 Exercise Begins a strenuous workout plan of 45 minutes 5-6 times per week. Listens to what feels good to her body and is enjoying moving around 20-30 minutes 3 or 4 times a week.
Weight loss after week 1 3 pounds 1 pound
Week 2 Food Plan (Day 7-13) Same as above Moves into a new stepping stone. Dairy and grains are both reduced to 2 per day.
Week 2 Exercise Same as above Same as above
Weight loss after Week 2 2 pounds 1 ½ pounds
Week 3 Food Plan (day 14-21) Person one is now struggling with their food plan. Lots of “non-permitted” food is finding its way into her days. Forbidden foods are harder and harder to say no to and things like 1 cookie has been turning into 3 or 4. Moves into a new stepping stone. Dairy and grains are reduced to one per day.
Week 3 Exercise Can only do 3 workout sessions. Same as above.
Weight Change after Week 3 No weight loss 2 pounds
Week 4 Food Plan (day 22-18) More difficulty sticking with the plan. Stuck with the plan 2 days but the other days had lots of overeating. Moved into the detox phase of the program. Quantity was not severely restricted.
Week 4 Exercise Only did it 2 days. Same as above.
Weight Change after Week 4 Weight gain of 2 pounds 2 pounds
Continued Pattern Gains 2 more pounds and then stays the same battling to get back on track but never making it more than 3 or 4 days at a time. Her relationship with food and her body feels like a struggle. She may continue to gain weight going forward and cycle through these steps again and again. Continues to lose 1-2 pounds a week until she reaches her goal weight and is able to sustain her results. After the detox, she reincorporates moderate amounts of her favorite foods into her diet.
Net for first month No loss (or even gain) Loss of 6 ½ pounds
As you can see, slow and steady totally won the race here. This is such a typical pattern that we see frequently. Maybe you have experienced this yourself.
When you really want something, like weight loss, it’s hard to be patient with it. All of the claims floating around out there about how to lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks or transform your body in 14 days, are not realistic. Even when those 10 pounds are actually lost, they quickly return because what was done to get them off was not sustainable. Lasting change takes a commitment and a willingness to work with your body instead of against it and to let it take the time that the process will take.
This concept of all-or-nothing dieting is one of the first major mindset shifts that we will teach you here at Nuuaria. Real weight loss can absolutely happen for you and it will happen permanently when you stop being a dieter and start listening to your body.
Tips to Shift Out of All or Nothing Behavior
I have two tips to share with you about this. Of course, our programs go into this in detail but if you do the following two things and stick with them, you will see a shift for yourself.
1- Let go of Timing Expectations
The first thing you can do to shift out of all-or-nothing behavior is to let go of timing expectations for your weight loss journey. It’s ironic but letting go of the need for the weight to be off by a certain time is the fastest way to a permanent solution. I recognize that it hard to have patience when you feel unsettled about your weight but when you trust the process and yourself, things can shift for you. Try the following exercise for at least two weeks and see what happens.
Step one - craft a statement that respects the real goal of your weight loss journey as you see it. Rather than saying my goal is a weight loss of X pounds in a certain amount of time, your goal can be seen as something like the following:
The goal of my weight loss journey is to develop a healthy and natural relationship with food and my body. I want to fuel my body in balanced and nourishing ways. I know that weight loss will be a byproduct of reaching these goals but I am willing to be patient as this unfolds for me.
Step two – write down two actions that you took each day that helped inch you closer to that goal.
Today I am thankful that I took the following steps:
These steps helped move me in the direction I want to go.
Each day reread your overarching goal and then write the two actions that you are thankful for having taken. This exercise, done properly, will allow your brain to accept the process and help you shift our of a sense of urgency with your weight loss.
2- Make gradual changes
The second tip is to make gradual changes as you set yourself up with a program. Instead of making 20 changes on day one, break those 20 changes into smaller chunks and tackle one per week. A couple of weeks ago, our talented and amazing Jacquelyn did a video on Nuuaria’s five-steps to build or change a habit. You could go back and watch that video (or if you want to put your e-mail in the comments, I can send you a link to that) to get a more complete picture of how our five-step method works to make changes but the part I want to focus on today is the stepping stones or the gradual way in which we approach change.
I realize that your weight loss in the first couple of weeks or month will not be as impressive as if you go all in with all 20 changes on day one but let’s look beyond those first couple weeks or month. Let’s be patient and look a few months down the road. Will you be sailing along in a routine that feels good and sustainable or will you be on and off your weight loss wagon feeling frustrated and impatient?
Take a couple of weeks to start implementing this tip and send us your feedback. What stumbling blocks came up for you? We can help you with those. I’d love to talk to you more about this topic and others like it.
This is one of the many tools that we teach in all of our programs, including our new 6-week Jumpstart program that is geared toward getting you into a simple, personalized, and sustainable path to weight loss. Let us know what you need and we will do our absolute best to get it to you. If you want more information about this new program, I’d be happy to send you some.
Thank you again for watching and spending time with us. We are here for you and we love you!